EXcluded EXperiences… 

Name of Experience: Chris

Length of EXperience: 6-8 weeks

     I met him in the mall while I was working in a clothing boutique called “The Merry Go Round.” It was shortly after my 18 birthday and I was feeling particularly confident; one might even go as far to say that I was even feeling a bit sexy.   Working at this particular store front was a much needed ego boast for me.  It was one of those cool 80’s hot spots in the mall that had all the latest fashion trends, played great music and flirting was pretty much a job requirement.  Needless to say I received a fair share of proposals, propositions and occasional presents from assumed admirers   I can’t deny that I enjoyed the attention. I added a few numbers to my little pink book on a daily basis and even kept a pen and paper handy on the rare possibility I might give out my number. 😂😂😂😂.   Let me be real it was never rare that I gave out my number. I mean, if you can remember the “Merry Go Round” then you have a complete understanding of the number of “hot” guys I saw on a regular basis; however it was a much simpler time (I realize I totally dated myself with these old school references). 

Chris came into the store one day with a co-worker looking for a sweater.  As soon as our eyes met there was instant chemistry.  I immediately noticed the beauty mark on his right cheek at which time I immediately began to survey his appearance.  From the tip of his perfectly pointed nose to the pencil thin mustache under it.  From his pinkish pouty lips with the hippie soul patch underneath.. As my gaze drifted to his full lashes and hazel eyes, I paused in my admiration and asked “Are you wearing eyeliner?”  When he answered “Yes” in a soft spoken baritone voice I’m pretty sure I needed a new pair of panties.   I simply shook my head in awe while replying “that’s fucking hot dude.   What’s your name?”   He leaned in towards me and whispered “Chris”.  “No FUCKIN way.! I yelled in disbelief. You know you kinda look like Prince and did you know in his movie “Under The Cherry Moon” his character’s name is Chris.  “He knows. He knows” mumbled his,co-worker, “Can you give him your number already so we can go. I’m starved.” We all chuckled. Although I really didn’t need much persuading Chris decided to sweeten the pot by allowing me to select his attire for our first date… He said “Whatever you pick out for me right now is what I will wear if I can take you out to dinner Friday.”  Of course I agreed but I wasn’t particularly gentle with my clothing selection. Although the gesture was romantic I wanted to call him on his bluff  (and get a good laugh).  So, dig if you will Prince wearing a Cosby sweater and a pair of stone washed jeans.  

The weeks to follow were as great as any new relationship could be. Almost too great to be honest. I loved that he had this Prince-like vibe and even more so because he was a huge Prince fan. He was probably as close as I was ever gonna get to my Prince and it was a great way to exercise my inner Vanity.  We had wonderful conversations.  He imtroduced me to B-Sides I had never heard before (Prince reference you may not understand) and a few other things.

Chris was one of few guys I had met that had his own apartment. Most of the guys I dated either had roommates, lived in a dorm or were still at home with their parents.  So when he invited me over for a candle light dinner I was a little intimated. My first thought was if he attempted to be half the freak I thought Prince was at the time, I wasn’t prepared for that sort of intimacy.  

When we arrived at his apartment (on the,opposite side of town from where I lived) I was greeted by  a dozen of pink roses that he had strategically placed by the front door. He lead me in the dark to a seat on the couch from there he preceded to light a series of candles (also strategically placed around the room).  It was like the start of every wet dream I ever had. Then he walked over to the boom box sitting in the middle of the room. He pressed “PLAY” and I instantly recognized the high pitch intro of “International Lover” 

And then shit just got real weird..

Come back tomorrow I’m super tired ..(yawn)


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