For years I wanted to created a program to help young woman develop more positive self images and encourage them to make more positive decisions for themselves. I wanted to create a rites of passage program that would conclude with a gifting ceremony from family members and friends. I have researched and followed a variety of different programs that I felt best represented my potential program goals.
I purchased the website, did some ads, created my logo and created the initial format of the program but I did not garner very much support. There was also the factor that I too needed to deal with some personal issues. I had seen this program through my own adolescent eyes as a young lady who could have greatly benefited from such an experience. That was my mistake. I should have been viewing this project as a women who could help others benefit from the experience.
This would require me to re-evaluate my own emotional, mental and spiritual needs. I was able to share my journey and teach a class at a local homeless shelter. It indeed was one of the most powerful experiences in my life. It is because of that experience that I feel that I am equipped to handle the task of making my program “Deliver Our Daughters” a success.
However I still, at one, point felt the timing was off and I did not diligently pursue reestablishing the program until my daughter was recently expelled two days from school for public display of affection now it’s time. I have raised two adult sons who live on their own and have relationships of their own, my daughter however is 11 and is a completely new experience when it comes to this pubescent stage in life. Times have changed since I was an 11-year-old girl and the amount of exposure our children encounter can not often be controlled or prevented. My daughter does not watch programs that promote promiscuous behavior (not saying she has exhibited any) but I was concerned by the choice she made. Obviously I can not control human nature but I did feel that had I given her better tools in her decision-making ability this incident could have been prevented.
My husband has a very traditional viewpoint when it comes to his only daughter growing up and experience this natural development in life and it is simply “NO” – no boys, no kissing, no growing up period. LOL. Not very realistic of course but probably the sentiments of every loving and caring father. So when my daughter told the little boy, who liked her, that her dad said she could NOT have a boyfriend, he in turn encouraged her to lie and keep it a secret. I know it seems like something a boy would coerce a girl to do but at 11 he is already setting a pattern and I don’t want her to fall into an unhealthy pattern of her own. I explained to her that a friend (be it boy or girl) does not encourage you to do things that will cause you harm or trouble and that a good friend would encourage her to do what is right and expected of her; however, I also had to scold her for the fact that it was ultimately a decision she made and there were consequences to her actions.
Without going into great detail I have been having these very random conversations with my daughter as they come to me and I realized that there are so many things we assume our children already know but in reality they have no idea. I knew she was not alone in her feelings nor in her experience. Again I felt this would be a perfect time to resurrect Deliver Our Daughters.
My hope is to gather with my daughter and a group of her peers as we participate in a variety of activities that will help promote healthy and positive self images that will encourage them to make more sound and responsible decisions. I am sharing this because I hope that it will encourage others to share and support my dream as well as challenge me to make it the success that I know it can be.
If you feel that you can contribute or assist in any way to the success of this program, I implore you to leave me feedback in the comment section of this post.