Paisley Mourning (Living in a Post Prince world)

All this time I thought to myself that no one understood me like he did.  I mean after all he spent all this time writing these personal love letters through his songs just for me (didn’t he?) Hahaha, I’m a very imaginative person.  I will admit that I did feel like I had a certain claim to him as  his BIGGEST FAN EVER.  After all I was the “go-to” girl among all of my friends and family when it came to Prince trivia and facts.  I always knew where he was, where he was gonna be, who he was dating and who he wasn’t dating.  Anything negative said about his Purple-ness were clearly fighting words.  The slightest criticism jolted me.  People didn’t always find the same appreciation for him as I did or so I thought.  So I spent a lot of time schooling people on this Funky Bad-Ass.  I was always excited to get a willing participant and I got them more often than not.

However social media (particularly FaceBook) would quickly dispel that I was Prince’s one and only misunderstood fan (stan).  I mean of course I knew he had zillions of fans but for some reason I felt this personal connection with him that I didn’t think people would entirely understand. Even I thought I was a little obsessive at some point.  I mean if Prince wrote, said it or performed I knew it.  I fell for the whole Minneapolis sound because  he was an extension to so many other great artist who I may not have necessarily been introduced to if it wasn’t for him.  However I was not alone.. Like I said Facebook set me straight quickly; in fact, there were so many Prince fan groups that I had to really be selective in which one I requested to join.

I narrowed it down to Prince 30+ Years (this is where you find some OG fans.  Those who liked Prince long before it was cool to like Prince).  I also joined PRINCE WORLDWIDE FAN CLUB (which is a private group for Prince lovers of all ages and locations).  I have actually met some great interesting and talented people in both groups.  Then there is Prince The Living Legend group (sadly they will have to change their name) and finally I joined  La Petit Prince Tribute group (hosted for the incredible artist Troy Gua the creator of La Petite Prince).  I found this group via tumbler where I first discovered Troy’s incredible creations. I only mention these groups because if it had not been for them and all of the wonderful empathetic and sympathetic friends and family, I am not really sure how I would be doing right now.

Imagine this being the 80’s or early 90’s long before the phenom/curse called social media existed.  This would have been a pretty lonely and overwhelming experience but thankfully I was able to cyber support and virtually hug so many people.  With social media and blogging I was able to express myself openly and some complete stranger was able to tell me “I understand and thank you for sharing.”  I was able to read what others would share about their Royal experience.  Some expressions came from fans, friends and even family of his.  I saw others shed tears that were just like the tears I shed.  It was the first time I was happy to live through others as they shared emotional footage of tributes and gatherings all across the world.  WOW!  World of the Weirdos united.   Yes I said weirdos.. That’s why most of us loved him.. At least that’s why I did.  He made me feel okay about just being me and not giving a f**k what anybody else thought.  I was fearless and uninhibited because of him.  He said what he wanted and didn’t say when he didn’t want..(LOL).   I admired him for everything he was and everything I wanted to be.

His influence flows through me naturally. It’s evident in the way I talk sometimes, the way I write my poetry.  It’s evident in the paisley purple and pink accents I have flowing through my room.  My love for the tragic french clowns and masquerade masks that I hang proudly on my wall as an ode to his fabulous style.  I didn’t just know the know, I walked the walk and talked the talk.    Again I say the wide world web showed me that I didn’t really know as much as I thought I knew… My walk needed some practice and my talk needed some lessons.  and I was so glad there was so much more of him I could get to know thanks to all of his fans (thank  you).

On (April 21, 2016) Thursday Morning everything changed and I realized for so many of us life would never be the same.   The world didn’t just stop in that moment, it came to an abrupt halt and it was like we were blindsided with pain and confusion.  The reality that Prince was gone, his presence was now a memory was devastating.  Tomorrow will make 7 days in this Post Prince world we are now left to live in.  No more anticipating a rare performance, budgeting to make sure we get tickets for his next concert series.  No wondering what his next enigmatic move was going to be.  We will now have to refer to him in the past tense. We must now submit to the trending hashtags of #rip (sigh) just don’t think I was ever ready for this.

I wrote all this to say  as many others have already said “that how awesome it was to exist when he existed” and in this afterlife he sang of he is now presenting his gifts there.   To some new dimension of WOW’s who needed him just as much as we did.  He left here  confident in knowing that just like the passing of legends before him, his devoted beautiful ones would hold him down by loving and supporting one another.   His music, his life and love were transcending.  Where on most other occasions we would be separated by color, gender, class, sexuality or religion, we know have blended into one beautiful shade of Purple.

To all of my beautiful kindred spirits.  If you ever need an ear or text or post or anything that helps you survive in this Post Prince world and if I am able to oblige. please call on me.  I am sure he would have loved it that way.

I saw this video and immediately I wanted to pay tribute to it by sharing it’s name as my title please enjoy


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